The Day

I don’t think I really talked about those last few hours I’ve spent alone with you in the hospital room. I watched the heartbeat monitor constantly, watched your breathing every second, and in this constant shock and disbelief that this is actually happening to me…to us…

It is even harder to talk about how I felt during the last few seconds when you slipped away from me…that hopelessness, I wish that NO ONE around me would ever have to experience it. That complete earth shattering pain that I was feeling while making calls to family and close friends just only to be able to utter those words “Jozef’s gone…he really is gone”

Today is your birthday, so I got hit all over again …

If I could, I would like to just hide in my bed the whole day, but I cannot…

If I could, I would like to just drown in my sadness and not worry about being judge, but I cannot…